12~02~2026

What A Shitty Time

I’ve been away for some time and I almost forgot about my unfinished site, again... I almost have a kind of a mental breakdown a couple weeks ago, because I feel like this site could have been greater, far more personalized and cool but I feel it’s kind of cheap looking and I could have done it better but I slacked off again. I been kind of gone, because I want to redo it, but I’m yet to do something.

I also began a small business of making slideshows for the other students at my shitty-university but, even though I’m told they are very cute and well made, I can’t help but hate them with all my soul. I just think they are the most awful looking things ever and so poorly done. Mind you, I even had a teacher praise them and say it was a shame we wasted them on a poor presentation (we did not properly study for it), BUT damn… most of the time they are ugly as fuck to me. I actually hate when others present with the slideshows I made, even AFTER they thank me a lot and praise how “good looking” they are. But it doesn’t matter, I can’t bring myself to like what I’m making.

Some days I’m more calm about this. Other days I want to be able to physically burn them to the ground while I scream at everybody for not telling me they are ugly crap.

14~02~2026

Maybe

I know I just proclaimed my absolute hate toward my own slideshows, but I still like to do them and I would like to be able to post one here somehow, someday. Even though I got a load of mixed feelings about them, I do enjoy the process of making them, and I do have moments where they feel kind of good enough.

I feel my brain rot away when I do nothing but get caught in these awful cycles of endless scrolling until I literally passed out. I hate it more than my dumb slideshows.

SO, deep down, I hold some kind of appreciation for them.